One of the most challenging parts of planning a destination wedding is establishing who will handle the expenses. Not everyone agrees on this point, but there are a few guidelines that will help point you in the right direction. However when you allocate your budget, make sure you’re communicating clearly with your guests and attendants. You have ample room for flexibility as long as everyone knows your plan.
An Expanded Agenda
A traditional wedding consists of a ceremony and reception with a small rehearsal dinner the night before. This is typically confined to the wedding party, close family members, and perhaps special out-of-town guests.
With a destination wedding, your agenda gets a bit fuller. Every guest is a special out-of-town visitor for this event, so there are some added expectations as far as entertaining. Couples typically hold:
-
- A welcome event the day their guests’ arrive
- An inclusive rehearsal dinner for everyone who’s in town the night before
- The destination ceremony
- The wedding reception
- A morning-after brunch
- One planned event or excursion for guests a day or two after the wedding
As you’re planning these events, keep in mind that not everyone will arrive and depart on the same days. Inform your guests of the agenda and ask them to give you their travel dates or RSVP to each individual event so you don’t pay for a sunset cruise for 12 only to find that just six of your guests will be in attendance.
Travel Expenses
Travel expenses are a bit tricky when it comes to destination weddings, and even experts disagree on the finer points of etiquette in this area. Travel expenses for guests are not your responsibility. You wouldn’t pay for out-of-town friends and family to come to a wedding in your hometown, so there should be no expectation for you to pay their airfare or hotel expenses for a destination wedding.
However, some believe that etiquette does demand accommodations for the wedding party. Traditionally, the bride’s family would pay for accommodations for the bridesmaids, while the groom’s family covers the groomsmen. Whether you go this route is largely a matter of personal preference.
Consider the needs of your wedding party. Do you have a lot of young singles who couldn’t afford the trip otherwise? Perhaps you can ask two or four of your bridesmaids to bunk together while you pick up the tab for their room. If your wedding party is made up of well-established couples who can easily pay their own way, there’s less pressure for the bride and groom to lend a hand.
Accommodations
As mentioned previously, you’re not expected to pay for hotel rooms for your guests. However, you should reserve a block of rooms at the appropriate hotel or cruise ship. If you’re having your wedding at a specific resort, make sure there are enough rooms there for everyone. Nothing is worse than having a few oddball guests who are stuck with rooms on the other side of town (or the island, as the case may be).
The Little Extras
All the traditional gifts should be observed at a destination wedding, including special tokens of thanks for the parents, wedding party, and others who went above and beyond to help with the event. In addition, you may want to provide some special extras for your guests who have taken the time to invest in a special vacation with you. This may include:
- Small gift baskets at check-in with sunscreen, aloe, local maps, and other essentials
- A pre-arranged shuttle from the airport
- Transportation to and from the hotel, ceremony, reception, and other events
- Pre-arranged discounts for optional excursions at your destination
These extras aren’t required, but they are a nice touch to your wedding, and can help your guests feel pampered at a minimal expense.
Use your wedding website to make it clear what you will and won’t pay for at the event. Polite guests will happily handle their own expenses when they know what’s expected. An open and honest approach breeds far less confusion than one that’s demure and discreet.
If you’re still doubtful as to how to approach this subject with guests or would like to know more about our destinations and what activities they offer, just contact us and we’ll be delighted to help!