Bridesmaids and groomsmen get the honor of witnessing and participating in one of the most important days in your life. The downside is that it’s not logistically possible to give everyone in your life that honor, which means you have some tough decisions to make. On the one hand, you don’t want any of your friends and family to feel snubbed by your selections. On the other hand, you don’t want obligation dictating who the supporting cast is on your special day. Here are some tips on how to assemble your wedding party without making others feel left out.

First Things First: Practical Considerations

Before you start thinking about who might feel left out by your choices, first consider practical matters. For example, will anyone on your short list of wedding party members be unavailable on your chosen date? Pregnancies, vacation plans, even work obligations, and even inability to travel can all affect your choices. Don’t make your official selections until you’ve confirmed that everyone is available.

Compatibility

No one wants tension among wedding party members during a joyful occasion. If you know two of your top choices for bridesmaids can’t stand each other, think twice about forcing them together for rehearsals, bachelorette parties, and the ceremony itself. Instead, maybe consider giving one of them an equally significant but different role in your wedding. For instance, you might have that person do a reading for you or give a special toast in his or her honor.

And don’t forget to consider the relationship between your wedding party nominees and your future spouse. Do they respect your spouse and support the marriage or is there bad blood between them?

Your Relationship

Last but not least, think about the kind of relationship you’ve had with this person in the past. Is this one of the people you’re currently closest to and has the friendship stood the test of time? Has this person always come through for you as a solid, dependable friend?

Don’t include people in your wedding solely because they asked you — your high school BFF whom you’ve haven’t talked to in the four years since being her bridesmaid probably won’t be offended that you didn’t return the favor. If you or your fiancée have siblings, though, do consider giving them some role in the wedding — not necessarily in the wedding party — out of respect.

Choosing the wedding party you want without offending anyone can be a challenge, but these tips will help you walk that line. Just remember that, when all is said and done, this is your special day, and your true friends will respect whatever decision you make.