What happens when your dream wedding is on the beaches of Grand Cayman while your family’s dream is at the local church or country club? Destination weddings are riddled with more etiquette faux pas than traditional weddings, but with a little help, you can avoid these landmines without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Let Whoever is Paying Have a Say
Money is the most uncomfortable topic around weddings, and destination weddings grow even more challenging with the additional costs of flights and accommodations. However, there’s one common theme: whoever is paying for the wedding gets a say.
If your parents or in-laws are paying for the wedding, introduce your idea of a destination wedding before you make concrete plans. This way they can offer their advice and feel more involved — and less like you’re just asking for a check.
Do Your Research Beforehand
Whether you’re paying or not, come prepared with preliminary figures about the wedding to show that you’ve thought this through. Lay out a few options for locations or resorts, and an estimated cost. In all likelihood, your family is going to have follow-up questions and these answers will soothe their worries.
Prioritize the Most Important Members of Your Family
At least some of your guests won’t be able to attend your wedding due to the travel costs, but it’s important to identify the key people you want there. Talk with these relatives beforehand so they know what you’re planning and can make proper arrangements. It’s not typical for the bride and groom to pay for accommodations, but if someone is particularly important — like a favorite uncle — you may decide to foot the bill.
Consider an After-Party for Those Who Can’t Attend
For your family members that can’t attend your wedding, consider an after-party to let them celebrate your marriage when you return. This can be as simple as a nice dinner, or as big as a house party with catering and decorations
Remember, your family isn’t upset about missing your destination wedding because they wanted a Bahamian getaway; they’re just sad about missing your special day. An after-party invites them to celebrate with you.
Today, most weddings are destination weddings for at least someone. The odds that both of your families live in the same town is pretty small. A destination wedding might work to your advantage if your families are scattered across the country. You’re still bringing everyone together, even if the long-awaited reunion is in Mexico instead of Cleveland.