Your wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and you want to make sure it plays out the way you wanted. If you’re interested in hosting an adults-only affair, it’s important that you communicate this carefully to your guests. Omitting children from the guest list can be a touchy topic, but when it’s done right, you can pull off exactly what you’re after while keeping everyone happy.

Don’t Say “Adults Only”

The phrase “adults-only” can seem offensive to some, so it’s usually best to avoid this type of wording on your invitations. Instead, you may choose to specify adults in a more subtle way. For example, your RSVP cards can read “adults accepting” and “adults declining.” You can also specify that there’s an “adult reception” to follow the ceremony, making it clear that activities and food catered to children will not be provided.

Don’t Do It All Yourself

If you’re having a large wedding and can’t communicate directly with each invitee, have your wedding party communicate politely with everyone about the adults-only nature of the wedding. It’s often less awkward for a bridesmaid or groomsman to correct an errant assumption than it is for the bride or groom to do so.

Do Include Details on the Website

Your wedding website is a great place to specify that you don’t plan on having children at the wedding. If you’re hosting a destination wedding where children are welcome at the resort but not the ceremony, specify that childcare is available on-site and provide details for how to arrange it.

Don’t Hesitate to Correct Your Guests

If you receive an RSVP with uninvited children on it, you need to communicate directly with these guests. Don’t simply overlook it and allow one or two children to come, after other guests have gone out of their way to arrange for childcare in accordance with your wishes. Simply mention politely that you don’t have the seating capacity or proper arrangements for children and let your guest know you hope he or she can still make it.

Having an adults-only wedding doesn’t have to be as complicated as it may seem. Communicate politely but clearly with your guests and you can have the exact event that you’re hoping for.