Congratulations! Someone finally popped the question, someone else said “yes,” and now you’re engaged to be married. You’re in love, and you’re thrilled at the prospect of spending forever together. After enjoying the intoxicating post-engagement buzz for a while, though, you soon realize you have a wedding to plan. Dresses, destinations, guest lists, wedding parties, cakes, decorations — an engaged couple’s to-do list goes on and on! The prospect of so many plans and decisions may seem overwhelming, but just take it step by step, starting with these tasks.
Choose a Destination
Where you choose to get married can influence everything from the type of attire you wear to the date you pick. Think about a destination that reflects who you are as a couple. Remember to consider the language and the culture of your destination as well as the scenery. Keep your guests in mind as you decide on a place — don’t pick anywhere that’s difficult to get to or prohibitively expensive to travel to, even if you book early.
Set a Budget
You need to know your budgetary constraints in order to pick a venue, create a guest list, choose a wedding package, etc. First, talk to your parents to see if they’d be willing and able to help out. Your parents might not be able to foot the bill for the entire production, but they may offer to pay for something smaller like your flights.
Second, sit down as a couple and make a list of priorities. What elements of the wedding are most important to you? Think about things like your wedding attire, entertainment/music, the cake, photography, etc. Aim to spend about 75 percent of your wedding budget on the aspects you decide matter most. In setting your budget, don’t forget to include your airfare. If you’re having trouble coming in under budget, maybe rethink your destination. Another location may be substantially cheaper.
Make a Guest List
The people you want at your wedding may influence when you can have it, so you’ll need to make a guest list before you do anything else. The first thing you’ll need to figure out is how many people you can invite. Destination wedding packages at resorts or on a cruise may have a limit, so it doesn’t hurt to do a little research before making your guest list. See what package is in your budget and how many guests that package can accommodate.
The standard etiquette for a guest list is that you two get half of the list, and each set of parents gets 25 percent of the list. The nice thing about destination weddings, though, is that wedding etiquette is more a suggestion than a commandment, so feel free to adapt that guideline.
As you make your list, think about making an “A” and a “B” list. On your “A” list, put all the people you definitely want at your wedding. On your “B” list, put the people that it would be nice to have but not absolutely necessary. This way, if people on your “A” list can’t make it, you have a ready list of second choices.
Pick a Date
Destination weddings require plenty of advanced notice, so start thinking about your wedding date immediately. You want to ensure that your guests have enough time to book their flights and accommodations and don’t have to shell out a fortune for last-minute travel.
In deciding on a date, consider tourist season — for cheaper travel and fewer crowds, try to schedule your wedding right before or right after the season ends. That way, you can still take advantage of the ideal weather. In the Caribbean, the tourist season usually runs from December to May.
Next, call the friends and family you know you’ll want at your wedding. Make sure they don’t have any conflicts for the date you tentatively pick. If possible, avoid scheduling your wedding on a holiday. One, because travel and accommodations tend to be more expensive, and, two, your guests are more likely to have other commitments on holidays.
Send Your Save-the-Dates
Etiquette for destination weddings calls for you to send your save-the-dates six to eight months in advance. This gives your guests time to arrange for childcare, request vacation from work, and start saving their airfare. If you’re still not sure about your venue, it’s fine to list a general location — such as Mexico — on your save–the-dates. Include as much information as you can on your save-the-date. For example, if you’re reserving room blocks or know where and when the reception will be, feel free to include that.
Decide on a Venue
You’ve committed to a destination; now it’s time to choose the specific location of your wedding. You may want to think about hosting your ceremony and reception at the same venue. This helps keep the cost of the trip down and makes things infinitely more convenient for you and your guests. Resorts and the cruise lines usually have several wedding packages for you to choose from.
Each package typically includes an on-site wedding planner so you don’t have to try to arrange an entire wedding from thousands of miles away. You won’t have to worry about choosing vendors or flying back and forth to finalize the details — you have experienced help taking care of it all. If you do take a trip to your destination before your wedding, be sure to scope out the designated wedding and reception areas along with other activities you might want to include for guests as part of your wedding experience.
Look up Local Marriage Laws
Different countries may require you to be present for a certain amount of time before you can legally marry. Some countries, like St. Lucia, have no such residency requirement. With most countries, the residency period is only a few days. However, some countries require you to arrive well in advance of the wedding. For example, France has a 40-day residency requirement. Make sure you know these requirements, what documents you’ll need, and how much you’ll have to pay to marry in your destination. Your wedding planner can definitely assist.
Choose Your Wedding Attire
As you shop for dresses and suits, remember to consider your destination’s weather. A traditional wedding gown with a heavy veil, 10-foot train, and silk material complete with high heels might not be the best choice for some destinations. You’d probably be pretty uncomfortable in that getup on an 85-degree beach in Barbados on your big day!
Try to choose cooler fabrics for tropical weddings. If you’re doing a beach wedding, remember how hard it would be to walk in the sand in high heels. Flip-flops are in no way taboo for a destination wedding—for a bride or a groom.
And don’t forget about the comfort of the groom either. Having to stand in a black full tuxedo when the sun is beating down on you wouldn’t be fun for the lucky guy. Consider alternatives to suits, such as a vest and tie or linen suit with an open collar, if you’re headed to warm weather.
Don’t Neglect Your Guests
Your guests are traveling what may be quite a distance just to show their support for your union. One way to say thank you is to remember to schedule a few fun activities to do as a group. For example, your resort or cruise line might help you host a welcome party the night everyone arrives or coordinate a group sightseeing tour. Your guests will be grateful you thought of them instead of leaving them high and dry in their rooms.
Don’t Delay
Advance planning is key with destination weddings. Some say destination wedding planning is like the extreme-sports version of wedding planning, so don’t put things off. The sooner you start making decisions, the less stress you’ll have as your big day approaches.
Of course, it’s important to jump right in to planning your destination wedding, but don’t forget to stay in the moment. It’s not every day that you get to plan a wedding! Now that you have this easy-to-follow list of steps, planning your dream ceremony should be no sweat.