While destination weddings are meant to create a relaxing atmosphere for two people to form a perfect union, there tends to be an added level of stress on LGBTQ couples who are looking to wed in tropical environments. Here are a few solutions to reduce your wedding problems.
How Do I Know if LGBT Couples Are Accepted Where We’re Going?
Before you start sending invitations and booking flights, make sure you and your partner will feel accepted wherever you go during your stay — not just at the resort. Look up government websites and make sure same-sex marriage is legal where you’re traveling, and then see what kind of information they offer to LGBTQ travelers. Many countries have specific pages on their tourism bureaus to put your minds at ease.
Outside of the government, research how LGBTQ couples are treated in the country. While something may be legal, you don’t want to face harassment or discrimination while you’re there. Check out reviews from past vacationers to make sure you have a good time. Your wedding planner can help.
Should I Cover the Cost for Some of Our Guests?
While many LGBTQ couples travel because they want to get married in paradise, some opt for destination weddings so they can have a stress-free wedding away from some of their relatives. Most guests are expected to cover their airfare and accommodations for the wedding, and many will decline the invitation if they can’t afford to attend.
However, if there is someone important to you who you really want at your wedding — whether it’s a grandparent or a best friend — it’s okay to cover their hotel room and even their airfare. When you look back at your wedding, do you really want to remember the day without them?
How Do I Know if the Resort is LGBTQ-Friendly?
When you tour the resort or have a call with them, ask how often they have LGBTQ ceremonies. It’s not a bad sign if they’re uncommon, but it should put your mind at ease if they’ve hosted LGBTQ weddings before.
Also, make sure the resort is offering all of the same options to you and your partner as they would for any other wedding. If the resort is trying to keep your reception or ceremony away from “family-friendly” areas they might not be as accommodating as they seem. You shouldn’t have to limit your wedding plans because of your sexual orientation.
Will the Venue Make Changes to Accommodate a LGBTQ Wedding?
When you’re shopping for packages, talk with your wedding coordinator about specific needs that aren’t addressed in the wedding package. For example, if your package includes dress pressing and a trip to the barber, let them know you will need to have two dresses pressed and the barber isn’t necessary. Unless you’re making extravagant changes and asking for multiple add-ons, these changes shouldn’t affect the price.
This is why it helps to work with a venue that’s hosted multiple LGBTQ weddings. They will understand everything that needs to be updated for your marriage, from the boutonnieres to the wedding topper.
Can We Customize the Ceremony?
Traditional ceremonies are becoming less common for many weddings, even if they’re officiated by a member of the clergy. Ask your wedding planner to meet with your officiant to discuss how you want the ceremony performed, what should be said, and how long it should last. This way the officiant won’t try to perform a traditional ceremony by pronouncing you “husband and husband” at the end.
This is also an opportune time to discuss vows with the officiant and your significant other. Writing your own vows will add a more personal touch, but your partner might prefer a traditional ceremony. Whatever you decide, don’t wait until the rehearsal dinner to decide that you hate the ceremony and wanted to write your own vows.
Every wedding is unique, but a well-prepared wedding planner and wedding venue should be able to accommodate your changes and needs to make sure your LGBTQ wedding is stress-free and tailored to your marriage.